Who was it in our lives who described to us that love is conditional?
That in order for you to feel good, worth it, or purposeful - you had to do something to prove that you were worthy.
You had to be a good boy/girl.
You had to make someone laugh or smile.
You had to get good grades.
You had to clean up your toys.
..and only then you’ll get praise & love.
And now, in adulthood, you have to make good money and support your family.
You have to follow cultural norms and do as they do to look good.
You have to meet the expectations of your superiors, even if it’s at the expense of your values.
You have to have measurable goals that align with those around you.
What if instead, we decided to simply be?
To simply be alive.
To simply breathe.
Are we worthy of love then?
For some reason, we have been programmed that we have to stand up and reach these high ceilings in order to be recognized and seen as a good person who can be loved.
There are so many of us who operate deeply within the expectations of society, that we think: if I am not making enough money, will I be liked?
If I am not coming up with new ideas, will I be forgotten?
If I am not contributing in work or family life, will I be irrelevant?
How about we put that all aside for today.
Instead of seeking out the things that you should do - seek out the things that you want to do.
Make an oath to stand in the integrity of your heart this week and only do things you actually want to do, and be around those who you actually want to be around.
This exercise will help you get there:
EXERCISE
Is there anything in your life that you are consistency doing that you don’t enjoy?
Are there things that you do because, if you don’t, you believe it will hurt someone?
Do you ever say things that aren’t fully true, or that you don’t fully mean?
If you said yes to any of the questions above, you are living your life for someone else. Your mind is programmed to make those around you happy.
Now, let’s see what you really want:
Instead of doing things you don’t like, what are two-three things you want to accomplish and experience this week?
Is there anyone in your life that you can handle ‘disappointing’ this week, by following your own internal compass and not theirs? What does that look like?
When you catch yourself beginning to fluff up something you are saying this week - write it down. Why are you boasting about this thing? Who is it that you are trying to impress? Does it truly matter?
Finally - write down the biggest way that you want to show up for yourself in life, and for those around you that you love. Is it truth, honestly, for family, for love? Review that whenever you need to be reminded that you are the leader of your life.