The truth
One of my deepest, truest, and most resonating findings was that of self.
We will always find our way if we listen to self.
By quieting the mind and releasing the expectations of those around you, and what society tells you, you come home.
The ability to come home allowed me to feel the most in-tune I have ever felt.
Followed by feeling the most confidence I have ever felt.
Coming home to self heavily relies on letting go, and releasing control.
Letting go of the pressure to start/finish something right now, letting go of the need to produce and check off boxes, letting do of the ‘to-do’ lists and ‘I have to respond now’ thoughts. And instead of outwards, by looking inwards if you feel lost and if you feel like you’re swimming against the intense pull of the tides.
Only you know what you’re meant to do.
When we get so caught up in the expectations on the world, we start living for them. We live for everyone else around us, who expects from us. They expect certain grades, certain ways that you should be learning, certain jobs you should seek or money you should make. They expect that you’ll possibly do something ‘cool’ or courageous or absolutely crazy successful - but the truth is, none of these things should matter to you.
The only one thing in your life that should lead you down your path is YOU and your heart.
When you are aligned with your heart, you are living for you and not under the light of anyone else. This is where incredible things happen.
It is about coming back to self - and looking in the mirror - to reflect what you have created and how you fit into that. How do you feel in your life? Is this everything you have wanted? Is it a place of complete mystery, love, acceptance, deep gratitude and LIFE? A life worth living? One that gets you up at all hours, with the push of WANTING to be alive? Wanting to spend time with you/yourself, and all of the things that surrounds you?
Are you in this place?
Because it’s very simple that we all can be here.
It takes a look in the mirror; a look inward, and sometimes daily, to return back to YOUR inner voice. To the voice that will simply tell you that (yes) you are doing the right things for your body + soul, or (no) you’re not doing the things that ignite your inner fire.
That possibly you’ve been missing the things that the universe has been waiting for you to realize - all along your path - and to find your purpose.
You know when you find it. When you discover and appreciate the things that make you feel like you don’t work hard, or don’t overextend yourself a day in your life.
That you are simply living and only amazing-ness is happening in your life - and it is all beautiful and bold and big and great.
When you look inward, you find that magic.
I spent a few days this past year doing nothing but experiencing. Not doing, but being.
It was the most extreme days of my life. I was held by me - and only me. I rode the roller coaster of wanting to do so much, and stopping myself in my tracks to return to silence. Over + over + over. Do nothing, Lindsay - do nothing.
I stared out of the window. I felt and focused on my gaze, but nothing phased me.
I stared out of the window. I saw a bird. I felt and focused on my gaze more - and nothing phased me.
I stared out of the window more. I saw a bird. I felt that birds presence for a moment.. I appreciated that bird’s ability to instinctively know what to do in it’s life..
Then I got up and began re-arranging my room. To do anything other than nothing..
And I laughed at myself saying - you can’t sit still, can you?
I returned back to my window.
And I began to process that feeling. The one that made me get up and do. To try to make my mark on the world in every waking moment. Leave a message behind, share my creativity, my work, my self. Re-arrange my room because here I could create a little bit of that. A message of my being alive.
Like I had to do to be. To be relevant.
And in this, I found a need to be recognized and be loved and accepted - and this need extended external of myself. Relevance in the society around me..
Meaning, the way that I reacted and felt was out of my own hands, and the feelings I have were directly based on others. The relativity of my life was given to others, based on nothing else but my need for this acceptance.
Now, how do we live like that? Giving our selves up? Giving our inner selves up to be evaluated by someone else’s perception (which may be so so different than ours)?
Especially because that person may not hold you with the deepest compassion that you deserve as a human being.
Well - that’s where I was and I didn’t even know it.
A place of feeling lost because I didn’t know myself anymore. Conforming; wanting to feel in society, accepted, understood.
But the truth is - I am so different and always have been. I have always been ridiculously connected, caring, understanding, and rebellious. I have always searched for the next way to challenge myself and to feel into what that is.
I search for feeling. I search for life.
And in going inward, I found that there was so much of my life time that I was giving to this external need to be accepted, a need that really wasn't mine to begin with.
And this going inward was the only way for me to come back home to recognize myself. And recognize where I come from in my heart - and not from all of the things I have learnt to conform to in my life, all of the ‘should-do’s’.
Somewhere along the way we got caught up in other people’s expectations, and don’t listen to out deepest hearts anymore.
So, let’s get deep into our hearts again and listen to the thing (or things) that’s calling us..
EXERCISE
Spend time looking in the mirror this week. You can do this as many times as you’d like to return back to your authentic you everyday.
Ask yourself this simple question :
Am I looking at authentic me, or is there someone else’s residual energy or thoughts or beliefs stuck to me?
If there is energy stuck on you (uncertainty, anger, anxiousness, the need to please, the need for acceptance) that doesn’t feel yours - simply do the following.
Close your eyes and take a deep breath inwards.
Open your eyes, and release that breath with volume (‘aahhhhhhhhh’), allowing yourself to exhale all of the energy you believe isn’t yours.
Repeat this above 3 times to get out all of the excess energy inside of you. Feel the energy you don’t want leaving your body in your exhales.
Ask yourself, what authentic trait of yours do you want to show up as (reliable, consistent, centred, confident, etc)?
Close your eyes tight and take a deep breath in, picturing yourself filling us with this incredible new energy/value - immediately open your eyes.
Emerge into your day with this trait at the forefront of everything you do.
Make sure the value/trait that you are focusing on is a truly authentic part of you that you want to share with the word.
If, on the other hand, you feel that you are looking at the authentic you already - breathe deeper into what that authentic you is - are you extremely happy in this space? Ii it all encompassing? Is there a little bit of centering/standing up for your boundaries needed?
You can do the exercise above with those things in mind to better fine-tune your self.